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Friday, October 14th, 2005

Time:1:55 am.
Mood: pissed off.
I have a problem.
HELP!!!
OKay.. I have a great boyfriend....great....love him to death. BUT! I want to kill him. Strangle him dead! OMG I'm sooooo fucking angry at him right now..Well, actually I am always in the back of my mind mad at him.. but it has been put in my face once again.
AH! My blood boils I can feel it!, my eyes blood red, flinching... hands tight, HATE flows through my body.
I get so flustered. I dont know what to do..I want to pack my shit and run to car and haul ass..I want to cry...I want to kill him...I want to kill myself Basically its alll 4.
The problem may seem small to some but to me it is huge.
OKAY like, if he did have this problem and wasn't so fucking bipolar/asshole..those 2 !2! two! problems ...he would be PERFECT!
Seriously. Now dont get me wrong I love him soooo ooooo oo oo much .


But you see he has this thing where he HAS TO HAVE PORN! That is such a disrespect to me it makes me want to do those things I typed earlier.
He knows I HATE him having anything to do with it..and yet he does it behind my back...


ALL THE FUCKING TIME!





Why would you want to do that when you have this super randy I want to fuck anytime allday anyway girlfriend????

WHY???? Can someone please tell why? Because I dont fucking know. He says I'm cute, sexy, fun, Iloveyousomuchmarryme, girl...
Dont get it... AHAHAHAHHAHAHA It drives me crazy. It makes me want to just leave his ass......Its like....
you want to go ahead a jack off to those bitches.... and leave your ass here... nice meeting you...
I cant leave him though. And he knows it... I just love his ass to much.

Why look at some bitch when you can have the real thing....

And he gets off on furries!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT...


I hate my life and I want to die.

Ah... thats off my shoulders now. I can breath a lil bit.. Thanks for hearing me out.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, June 5th, 2002

Subject:Remember.........drink bleach!
Time:11:15 am.
Mood: sore.
Music:AFI - 6 to 8.
For the past few nights now I have been having the weirdest dreams. they make no sense. Well the first dream I had 2 nights ago: I was in a building and following these big men drag a girl, around my age, saying that they were going to kill her baby(she is pregnant at the time, long enough to show,probably 4 months) and so they stopped in this lil room, the walls were white, and (oh yeah white walls....) and so they hold her down against the wall(5 men) and this other man pulled out a needle and filled it with this yellow looking liquid. and injects it into her stomach area. A minute later, (she was wearing a white dress during this, no panties either) all the stuff comes out of her ummm pussy, onto the floor as the man are still holding her down. When I finally got close enough to see what it was, it was hundreds of small bugs and liquid on the floor from where it was expelled out of her. They turned her baby into bugs!! So she then fainted and I gasped... thats when the men seen me and threw her hard on the floor and started chasing me. I ran through this huge building trying to escape them and I finally did. so i stopped to catch my breath and then this girl seen me and started yelling at me and she had a gun with her. So i began to run again. There were cut out square holes in the walls and I would go straight throught them as she followed, shooting at me. Then i turned to the right hoping I would loose her. That lead to the roof and it was night and an ocean was on the side of the buildinf so that was all you could see when you looked down. I stopped and looked around and there she was. So I ran and stopped when I seen allll these men dressed in black shooting across the roof towards the ocean. Hoping they would help me I yelled to them, well they started shooting at me, so i ran back to where i orginally was and almost bumped into the girl. She aimed her gun at me and i yelled "wait,wait!" but she started shooting at me. Bullets in my stomach in my legs and in my arms and one in my palm of my left hand. She stopped and I looked at her and then ran and jumped off of the roof and into the ocean, therefore ending my life.Mwhha I commited suicide. The end. That one is strange because I have had the exact same one before in the past. Whatecer that means. And then my second dream that night: I was at my house and Chad,Devin'church dude',Julius'dude from school",Ronnie'ex dude',Ashley,mom, and philip were there too. Well we were all in my room and then ashley,mom,philip,ronnie,&julius left to go in the living room. So me,devin and chad were just standing there looking at each other like.. okay. Then we started talking about different things and chad left to go outside on the back porch. so then devin comes up to me and was like all' haha baby come here' and I just kinda stood there. And he said something like 'i've always have loved you' somewhere among those lines. And so he hugged me and when into the living room. So I went outside to see what Chad was doing. I opened the door and he was standing there looking out at the fields behind the house. I guess he didnt notice I was behind him so I went up to him and wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head against his back. Then he turned around and put his arm around my shoulders and lead my to his left side. We just stood there for the longest time. Him just holding me... I think I am obessed b/c I miss that so damn much in person..I mean damn I'm dreaming about it! I dunno...I'm weird... Then we walked into my room and julius (why the hell he was in my dream, i dunno)(and with devin that makes no sense cos we never like did anything like b/f g/f)anyway he was standing there and asked chad to leave, so naturally i was like 'oh hell no he is NOt leaving me goddamnit,you leave' But he left anyway. so julius walks up to me and was like all " oh you know I like you" and was like "ugh ... no thats perfectly alright" then he got mad and left. The end. oh and another thing the last time I was in here at the library some guy was looking at anime porn, some girl giving head.. thank god for public bathrooms :)
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, September 9th, 2001

Time:1:31 am.
Mood: artistic.
Music:Bloodhound Gang - Mope.
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Boys get all the pleasure
Women get pain
15 minutes of pleasure
9 months of pain
3 days in the hospital and a baby with no name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
It never would of happen if the rubber hadn't tore : )
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Subject:EVERYBODY EMAIL TO THIS ADDRESS!
Time:12:39 am.
Mood: pissed off.
Music:Opeth - The Leeper Affinity.
Snowbaby3000@aol.com

I don't know who this is but they sent me an email saying that they were going to kill me!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, September 7th, 2001

Subject:An email sent to me...
Time:8:41 pm.
Mood: grumpy.
Music:Dimmu Borgir - In Death's Embrace.
>The sky was dark
>The moon was high
>All alone
>Just her and I
>Her hair so soft
>Her eyes so blue
>I knew just what
>She wanted to do
>Her skin so soft
>Her legs so fine
>I ran my fingers
>Down her spine
>I didn't know how
>But I tried my best
>To place my hand
>On her breasts
>I remember my fear
>My fast beating heart
>But slowly she spread
>Her legs apart
>And when she did it
>I felt no shame
>All at once
>The white stuff came
>At last it's finished
>It's all over now
>My first time
>Milking a cow!
>
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

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